Atlanta Fathers' Rights Attorney

Representing Fathers in Divorce, Child Custody & Child Support Matters

Father's rights is not really an area of law, but rather a philosophy that the father is an equal parent with the mother. He should have no less chance or opportunity to be a parent to his children, and he should have no more responsibility to pay support for his children or any less entitlement to be paid support from the mother if he is awarded custody of the children. To sum it up, any discrimination based upon gender is unconscionable and at the Shaw Law Firm we are passionate about this.

Shaw Law Firm has built its remarkable reputation in large part on addressing such issues. Beyond just subconscious bias, far more often than not, it will be the mother who stays home with the children while the father goes out into the world to make a living. In the modern world, that is not the case as often as it used to be. In many cases, both the mother and father work full-time jobs, and therefore start out on equal playing fields. Do not let anyone tell you anything different on this issue, particularly your wife. What I want to know is who actually cares for the children, who actually is best suited to care for the children, to provide for the children, to nurture the children, to provide stability for the children, to educate the children, to protect the children, and a whole host of others questions regarding the children. It is not about the parents, it is about the children. This is true whether or not your wife works or not. Just because the father works full-time and the mother stays at home does not mean the father is not really the children's primary caretaker or their best suited caretaker. It comes down to examining and dicing the evidence, and even where the evidence of getting primary custody may not exist in the end, that does not mean it is the children's best interest to have you relegated to being a weekend dad. It also does not mean that you will be the only party responsible for supporting the family. Yes, fathers do win custody. Yes, fathers even win custody cases where the mother is a stay-at-home mom. We win such cases all the time. If we can win custody for an active duty U.S. Marines Sergeant against a stay-at-home mother, do not write off your chances of getting something better than every other weekend with your children, or what is referred to as being a "weekend dad". We cannot win every case, and frankly not every case is winnable. But I will tell you, we will work every case to gain you the best results possible. All we ask from you is too cooperate and help us help you.

Stay-At-Home Mom vs. Working Dad

(See also below section on What if Mom and Dad Both Work?)

In such a case, there is no doubt the father is at a clear and real disadvantage in a child custody case. But you know what, child custody cases are about the best interests of the children going into the future, not the past. If the marriage is falling apart, mom is going to have to get a job herself. She is not going to be able to stay at home forever. Therefore, past behavior may not be in the children's best interest. If you are a father who has done all he can to remain in his children's lives, who has been involved, who wants to be involved, and who is in a position to remain intimately involved in his children's lives, then mom is going to have to explain to the judge why it is best for the children for their dad to only see them only on weekends. Let me tell you that if you are a good dad, working hard to provide for your children, while mom is at home all day doing who knows what while the children are in school from 7 a.m. until 2:30 p.m., mom is not going to look real good telling the judge that the kids are better off without their dad in any meaningful relationship. In fact, the mother will often come off as narcissistic, with an entitlement mentality, and with little to no understanding of any value that a father contributes to his children or family. She will be totally oblivious to the difficulty of providing for the family, and exhibit no concern at all of the damage to the father-child relationship that will result. Such a mother may act as if she is the owner of the children, and will be infuriatingly smug. You might want to give her the book "Why a Son Needs a Dad" by Gregory Lang, or some studies as to what happens to girls who are denied strong and meaningful relationships with their father (hint: it is not good). Matters get worse if the mother is not only oblivious to the value of the relationship between a father and his children, but actually outright abusive and disrespectful towards it. Cases vary as to the degree of the problems that may exist. If you are lucky you will have a wife or mother who does not exhibit this behavior, who will willingly want your full participation with the children, to be in their lives as their father, as an EQUAL. In such cases, we can often negotiate very favorable settlements and your children will be the better for it. However, in other cases you will need to fight. And it will be an uphill fight, and you will need to have the will power, patience, and confidence to see this fight through.

Addressing Child Custody

At some point we will need to decide whether you want to go for full primary custody of the children, or if our goal is to maximize your time with the children in some sort of joint custody arrangement. If your wife is truly a good mother, who is of good character, who devotes her life to the well-being of the children, who understands that the children need their dad, that she to needs to help support and provide for the children, and who really is a good person (and don't fool yourself, seriously assess whether or not she really is "good" at these things or not. The reflex response that almost everyone gives is "yes, she is a good mom," when in many cases that really is not the case), then we will go for a joint custody arrangement in which you get enough time with your kids to be a real and fully functioning dad. Not just a weekend dad. In such cases, maximizing your time with your children and minimizing your financial liability will be our goal. We are not going to do this from a position of weakness. In a divorce setting, "being nice" never, ever, ever, gets you anything but negative results (I hate to say it but I've been through too many cases to even equivocate on this issue). You need to treat the case like a business matter. Be cordial to your spouse, reasonable, but business like. Keep the pressure on, and do not negotiate from a position of weakness. In such cases, this is the method best suited to achieve the best results.

In other cases, however, mom simply is not as good of a mother as she would like the rest of the world to think. Maybe she is just a "fair" mother, maybe she is a "bad" mother. Perhaps it is just an intangible that makes her not a good or great mom, perhaps it is a very serious issue. Whatever the issue, if it exists, you still have a case for custody. The major issues are as follows:

Poor parenting by the mother
Abusive behavior by the mother
Drug or alcohol abuse by the mother
Mental health issues by the mother
Physical infirmities in the mother
The mother spending her time in adulterous affairs
The mother spending her time financially destroying the family
The mother's refusal to responsibly seek opportunities to support and provide for the children
The mother stuck on her computer for hours on end
The mother staying in bed until late morning or early afternoon
The people the mother exposes the children to are harmful or dangerous to the children
Any other issue relating to the environment the mother provides as it relates to the future well-being, security, stability, and happiness of the children.

In so many cases, one or more of these issues exist that I could write a very long book about it. We will discuss these issues in great detail with you, and we will push these issues in mediation or trial. It is your children's future that is at stake, and this is not the time to rationalize or overlook why mom does this or mom does that. If you, dad, are no longer home with the children to compensate for mom's issues, then what is going to happen to the children? These are issues that need to be brought to the forefront, and judges do pay attention to these issues.

Things to Keep in Mind During the Divorce or Child Custody Process

Here are some things to keep in mind that I see all of the time. First, you will not be able to talk "reason" to your wife. She will not trust you, she will probably think that you think she is stupid, and she is tired of you making decisions for her. Another fact of life is that mothers in cases like this usually exhibit a surprising lack of shame regarding any of their misdeeds or issues, and the impact that these things may have on the children. I have seen these issues too many times to count. Do not expect mom to give up the fight, or for her to give any credence to the fact that she may being doing things that may be harmful to the children, or to recognize any rationality to any argument you may make that your preferred child custody or financial arrangement is in everyone's best interest. It just does not happen without building your case and either forcing her to settle based upon the strength of your case, or having to decide the matter at a final trial.

What If Mom and Dad Both Work?

Let's be upfront here as this frustrates me, in a situation where both the mother and father work full-time jobs, THERE IS NO REASON WHY MOM SHOULD BE PREFERRED OVER DAD as the children's primary parent, all things being equal. I hear it time and time again from fathers. Moms, more often than not, will just have more will power and a feeling of greater ownership of their children, and they will literally bully and brow beat dad into relegating himself into a secondary role in his children's lives. Do not let this happen! There is now way for me to know the merits of your case without speaking to you in a lot more depth, but I can tell you, if both you and your wife work full-time, and all things are otherwise equal between you, if the two of you cannot come to a mutually agreeable child custody settlement, you have exactly the same chance of being awarded primary custody as your wife does. That is, unless you are bullied, intimidated, and brow beaten into giving the case to your wife. Your wife may not believe this to be the case, she may act cocky, entitled, and present a host of disagreeable attitudes, but it is true. In one very satisfying case I won custody for my client, the mom directly told me that "I am the mom, we all know I am going to get custody of the children" and she believed this until the end of the case. Please do not mistake this attitude for reality. Dads do win custody, even against very good moms. Do not defeat your custody case at the very beginning from adopting a self-defeating attitude. We need you to help us help you, and we need you to believe in your case.

Do Not Give Up or Concede!

In the end, custody is about the best interest of the children. Please see my article on this website about child custody for more details. But in general, you do not need "dirt" to win a custody case. We look for dirt, and if there is dirt (particularly of the type discussed in the prior section) we will discover it and use it to your full advantage. However, quite often a case like this just plainly involves two good people who cannot agree on how to divide the custody of their children. Too often moms think that they own the kids and that dad is incompetent, and they will not relent until they get full custody or nothing at all. It may be about getting more child support, it may be about being spiteful, or it may just be about total ignorance of what is best for the children, but it happens all the time. In such a case, recognize that you have equal rights to the children as your wife, and all things being equal, you are just as likely to win custody of the children as she is. Do not acquiesce on this issue, and do not show weakness on this issue. You are the children's father, and you have every legal and moral right to your children as their mother does! Recognizing this fact is the first step to winning your custody case. The second step is contacting and retaining a good Atlanta child custody attorney to strategize and build your case through thorough preparation and facts and evidence.

If you need help exercising your fatherly rights during a divorce, child custody, or child support battle, please do not hesitate to contact Atlanta child custody lawyer Scott Shaw today!